Amma Syncletica on Starting the Fire

When a few of us were on retreat at Mt. Tabor Benedictine monastery, we were lucky enough to find a wood-burning stove in St. Joseph's House, our lodgings for the weekend. It being a tad chilly, we decided to start a fire in the stove. After rumpling up some newspapers, covering them with some dried-kindling branches, and completing our stacking with some fair-sized logs, we lit our matches. We soon discovered that the chimney was not quite warm enough to allow an updraft of smoke; instead, a good bit of smoke came puffing out of the stove door. Then—wouldn’t you know it! The fire-alarm went off, and Harry had to pull the battery out to shut off the noise. However, upon closing the stove door, the chimney finally got warm enough to accept the smoke, and sure enough, we soon had a good fire burning, warming us all toasty-roasty.

That little experience reminded me a story in Yushi Nomura’s Desert Wisdom: Sayings from the Desert Fathers, wherein I once read that

Amma Syncletica said: In the beginning, there is struggle and a lot of work for those who come near to God. But after that, there is indescribable joy. It is just like building a fire--at first it's smoky and your eyes water, but later you get the desired result. Thus we ought to light the divine fire in ourselves with tears and effort. (26)

Amma Syncletica, one of the few desert mothers whose saying have been preserved for us, is right. When we first begin to practice silent, wordless, and imageless prayer (in addition to our Morning and Evening Prayers), we may well experience considerable difficulty. At first our thoughts and mental pictures seem to overwhelm us; it’s as though we are fighting great battalions of mental and emotional barriers in order to enter the Great Peace. But after a while—especially when we lay our thoughts and images aside with a gentle word expressing our intention to be with God—then, slowly but surely, developing peace comes and eventually we settle into "indescribable joy," as Amma Syncletica puts it. Yes, it takes some effort, but it’s “the most non-violent effort possible,” as Thomas Keating likes to remind us. Eventually the fire catches on and burns, the smoke goes up and away, and we are in the warmth of God's Presence.